Watch The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Season 1 Episode 12 MegaVideo

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Everyone was sweetness and light at Camille’s little tennis party. Yes, our hostess loves the chance to swish around in her mini tennis skirt be athletic and loves an opportunity to flip around the pool in her bikini and there’s no greater sport than suggesting the other fully clothed women in her midst are jealous of her ropy bod. But there were mini cupcakes and crustless sandwiches and we got to see Mauricio swing his racket, which makes us all winners. The subject of New York came up and even then Camille played nice. “I took it the wrong way,” she allowed. “I wear my heart on my sleeve,” said Kyle, as Mauricio kicked her ankle under the table, hungry for future Grammer commissions. Kyle won a lifetime invite to all of my future pool parties-the Ramsey Park public pool down the street that is-for gamely jumping in fully dressed.

Later in the episode Kyle-how many of you will be writing in to Bravo, wondering where she got her green earrings?-broke into a little sweat planning her White Party. It turned out to be the first actual fun party of the season, for everyone except Russell and Giggy who both looked like they wanted to leave the moment they arrived. Poor Russell, so uncomfortable in short sleeves.

It was most definitely party time in Los Angeles Monday night, and Paris Hilton just happened to be one person on the guest list for her aunt Kyle Richards’ — who just so happens to be a cast member on “The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills” — birthday bash.

“I said we will no longer be working with your husband, thank you very much,” Camille smugly told the cameras about her decision to digitally fire Mauricio as her realtor. Camille’s brand of crazy is always premeditated, and her plan to bring Kyle to her knees (so she can more easily kiss her ass) was well designed. Kyle broke the news to Mauricio at lunch, and the poor guy looked seriously bummed. “I think that’s a childish reason to not want to do business with somebody,” Mauricio said about Camille’s decision to cut him loose. It actually makes sense to me-you’ve got to be in business with people you trust or at least aren’t in some sort of grownup mean girls war with.

Camille and Kyle eyed each other nervously before Mauricio broke the ice with Mrs. Grammer by saying hello and showing off his 1920s-era pocket watch. And then before you could say ‘Great Gatsby,’ Camille and Kyle were hugging as if a mechanical cigarette-smoking psycho hadn’t stirred the pot just the night before. The women chatted and joked about how much they hate each other before breaking out into the Charlestown. It was the keep-your-enemies-close result Camille had planned for all along. After last week’s explosive fun, we were bound to get stuck with a quiet, slightly boring episode.

“My taste in music is so diversified: Usher, Timbaland, Jay-Z, I’m kind of all over the place,” said Adrienne. Um, not really. But her involvement in the music industry sort of explains the tinsel hair extensions. Sort of. Camille and Nick took a sexy motorcycle ride along the coast. Please, please someone explain this relationship to me. Cuckoo Kim attempted to make peace with Taylor at a nail salon like a couple of gabbing girlfriends. They settled down for ice cream sundae manicures (whatever that is) and giggled uncomfortably. “I cannot figure Kim out,” Taylor said (you’re not alone, girl). “She’s an enigma to me. She should have a superhero costume with a big question mark on it.” Is Taylor referring to Kim as The Riddler? I can totally see that.

Little Portia is like the seventh housewife and with the way these women behave, it wouldn’t seem strange to give the adorable two year old a few more scenes. Lisa’s dog-child Giggy has alopecia, which is why Vanderpump is always dressing him in doll-sized jumpers.

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